Thank you from a kindred spirit in the US now hoping to finish a PhD at 56 (while working FT) and wondering what is next...and how I will ever find work that feeds both my soul and my purse. My plan: let the wandering continue and let the sense of self-worth be ever-present. Again, thank you for the reminder and the shot of courage to follow that plan.
First of all, well done you! I was incredibly fortunate to have been able to do my PhD full-time via a scholarship award and I remember numerous times throughout it thinking, "How do people do a PhD AND keep a full-time job"? It is intense! Thank you for sharing your plans on the next part of that journey, I really appreciate what you say about keeping something of a 'wandering' perspective -- so open and heart-driven.
Oh the pang of deep recognition when you write that 'overtly seeking money is a bit ick'! Having grown up in rural France, I can't blame the Victorian ideology for this, but I can definitely see the influence of the Catholic Church in it, namely the glorification (maybe too strong a word) of poverty and suffering as the way to 'earn' a place in paradise.
Thanks Annette. This is so interesting! Down my maternal line it would be a staunce Presbyterianism / Methodism that would be playing out. Just goes to show how universal these themes are, and they are so hard to break out of!
I had a similar upbringing, and like you, still feel 'I'm not worth the money' if ever I'm offered payment for something. It's all part of the 'caring' role that has been assigned solely to women. The self-abnegation. If women insist on working for money (like whores) they can't expect to be treated like men and paid at the same rate. Root and branch changes in thinking are needed!
I hate to have to say it, but there are far too many mothers still telling their daughters to be ‘kind’ and ‘caring’ and smiling benignly when their sons beat the brains out of one another.
I recognise this. I do some freelance work, and my husband is always telling me I undervalue my work. Actually, I know it stems from undervaluing myself, my work is an extension of me, so I guess I undervalue it as a consequence.
I think you should turn on paid subscriptions. You might not make a living from it, but if you value yourself, other people will too. I know from my years in retail management that people love to get free stuff, but they don't value it because it is free... such a paradox, but there it is.
When I did free book sales on Amazon, a massive number of people would download my books, but did they read them? No. I know this because they never generated reviews, which is what I was hoping for. They just wanted to accumulate stuff without paying for it. They didn't download because they wanted to read it.
All this to say, don't be afraid to turn on paid subs,if you want to, and don't undervalue the amazing work you do here. 💕
Brillant, relevant and real as always Belinda. Thank you.🙏🏻 x
Thank you Mari xx
Thank you from a kindred spirit in the US now hoping to finish a PhD at 56 (while working FT) and wondering what is next...and how I will ever find work that feeds both my soul and my purse. My plan: let the wandering continue and let the sense of self-worth be ever-present. Again, thank you for the reminder and the shot of courage to follow that plan.
First of all, well done you! I was incredibly fortunate to have been able to do my PhD full-time via a scholarship award and I remember numerous times throughout it thinking, "How do people do a PhD AND keep a full-time job"? It is intense! Thank you for sharing your plans on the next part of that journey, I really appreciate what you say about keeping something of a 'wandering' perspective -- so open and heart-driven.
Oh the pang of deep recognition when you write that 'overtly seeking money is a bit ick'! Having grown up in rural France, I can't blame the Victorian ideology for this, but I can definitely see the influence of the Catholic Church in it, namely the glorification (maybe too strong a word) of poverty and suffering as the way to 'earn' a place in paradise.
Thanks Annette. This is so interesting! Down my maternal line it would be a staunce Presbyterianism / Methodism that would be playing out. Just goes to show how universal these themes are, and they are so hard to break out of!
I had a similar upbringing, and like you, still feel 'I'm not worth the money' if ever I'm offered payment for something. It's all part of the 'caring' role that has been assigned solely to women. The self-abnegation. If women insist on working for money (like whores) they can't expect to be treated like men and paid at the same rate. Root and branch changes in thinking are needed!
"Root and branch" changes! YES! Gonna take that thinking with me. Thank you Jane
I hate to have to say it, but there are far too many mothers still telling their daughters to be ‘kind’ and ‘caring’ and smiling benignly when their sons beat the brains out of one another.
I recognise this. I do some freelance work, and my husband is always telling me I undervalue my work. Actually, I know it stems from undervaluing myself, my work is an extension of me, so I guess I undervalue it as a consequence.
I think you should turn on paid subscriptions. You might not make a living from it, but if you value yourself, other people will too. I know from my years in retail management that people love to get free stuff, but they don't value it because it is free... such a paradox, but there it is.
When I did free book sales on Amazon, a massive number of people would download my books, but did they read them? No. I know this because they never generated reviews, which is what I was hoping for. They just wanted to accumulate stuff without paying for it. They didn't download because they wanted to read it.
All this to say, don't be afraid to turn on paid subs,if you want to, and don't undervalue the amazing work you do here. 💕