This is such an interesting interview. There are many points that I resonate with actually, perhaps in a less acute way. Growing up in a strongly Protestant house and area in the North and now living 'down here', I find myself wishing sometimes that people would be more direct, or having to curb my first response. There is, however, something unfathomable in the elliptical way of speaking, like an ambiguity which can be of value as well. I've had to learn to understand its presence and use it.
With regard to what Erin says about the Irish male wanting basically to be coddled, this is certainly true. I'm lucky to have a partner who definitely does not just leave me to carve the meat, but I think we Irish men do have an unconscious desire to be treated like that. These roles are built-up and reinforced in our psyches from when we are born.
Hi Ryan, many thanks for your lovely comment and for sharing your own perspectives on this - really interesting. I definitely resonate with what you are saying about the value of the ambiguity in the way we communicate - it almost lends itself to having to read a person's body language more or resource one's self with a broader array of communication skills than simply 'talk', like we're all chatting in a sort of dance where we need to be ready to pick up on the slightest hints or implicit suggestions to read where to go next, or what might be the best reply. There's a really interesting book (many years old now) by an American Anthropologist Nancy Scheper-Hughes called 'Saints and Schizophrenics' charting three years she spent living in a small village in the Dingle Peninsula in the 70's. She talks a lot about how injunctive Irish communication can be - we use a lot of double binds; saying something that cancels out what we've just said and wrapping it all up in the one sentence. "It is and it isn't", "Are you going to the shop, you are?". It's so fascinating.
Thank you also for sharing your thoughts on that view of the Irish male. Like Erin said, maybe it is the "Irish Mammy' thing of how we're all raised and socialised - certainly, as you say, these roles are what we are given from birth and so there's a lot to decipher and unpack in that!
Thanks for the book recommendation, I’ll stick it on the list. I’d read it based solely on the title!!
This is such an interesting interview. There are many points that I resonate with actually, perhaps in a less acute way. Growing up in a strongly Protestant house and area in the North and now living 'down here', I find myself wishing sometimes that people would be more direct, or having to curb my first response. There is, however, something unfathomable in the elliptical way of speaking, like an ambiguity which can be of value as well. I've had to learn to understand its presence and use it.
With regard to what Erin says about the Irish male wanting basically to be coddled, this is certainly true. I'm lucky to have a partner who definitely does not just leave me to carve the meat, but I think we Irish men do have an unconscious desire to be treated like that. These roles are built-up and reinforced in our psyches from when we are born.
Hi Ryan, many thanks for your lovely comment and for sharing your own perspectives on this - really interesting. I definitely resonate with what you are saying about the value of the ambiguity in the way we communicate - it almost lends itself to having to read a person's body language more or resource one's self with a broader array of communication skills than simply 'talk', like we're all chatting in a sort of dance where we need to be ready to pick up on the slightest hints or implicit suggestions to read where to go next, or what might be the best reply. There's a really interesting book (many years old now) by an American Anthropologist Nancy Scheper-Hughes called 'Saints and Schizophrenics' charting three years she spent living in a small village in the Dingle Peninsula in the 70's. She talks a lot about how injunctive Irish communication can be - we use a lot of double binds; saying something that cancels out what we've just said and wrapping it all up in the one sentence. "It is and it isn't", "Are you going to the shop, you are?". It's so fascinating.
Thank you also for sharing your thoughts on that view of the Irish male. Like Erin said, maybe it is the "Irish Mammy' thing of how we're all raised and socialised - certainly, as you say, these roles are what we are given from birth and so there's a lot to decipher and unpack in that!